Easter

A picture of me with my first babies on an Easter Sunday trip to the park near our house.

Only about a month to go. We are getting so excited (well, at least Casey and I are -- not sure if the dogs are ready to share us).

No, Nothing's Wrong

A good friend of mine from high school sent me an email today inquiring whether everything was alright since she hadn't heard from me in awhile and since I hadn't updated the blog in months. Given what happened during our first pregnancy, it was a very reasonable question. Frankly, I had not even considered that my lack of presence on the blog would cause alarm. It was the subtle nudge I needed to get me back to my role as the documentarian of Riley's entry into the world.

I am happy to report that everything is going absolutely fine. So well, in fact, that there really hasn't been anything noteworthy to share on the blog (hence my hiatus).

In reflecting on the past few months, however, it turns out that there have been lots of noteworthy things going on, so I will try to update you as best I can from memory.

On Registering:

Registering, for me at least, was not nearly as fun as registering for our wedding shower. At least when registering for weddings, you get to choose things that you want and that you know something about. Not true with baby items. Now, don't get me wrong, Day 1 of registering was quite fun. We have a cute little boutique baby store in Winston-Salem called Rolly's, and they have darling items. Even I can recognize cute hooded towels, bibs, onesies, gowns (although I didn't realize early on that gowns were acceptable for boys), Little Giraffe blankets, stuffed animals, burp cloths, etc. They also carry wonderful furniture (both our rocker/ottoman set and our crib came from there) and high end strollers (we were suckers for the "perfect" jogging stroller that could also multi-task for everyday use -- a BOB for anyone that is in the market). Casey came along for this registration and at least didn't hate the experience. It probably doesn't hurt that the owner of the store is a Florida Gators fan and can keep Casey occupied with football talk.

Day 2 of registering was not nearly as fun. Fortunately, my friend Kristen (who was a very new mother at the time, and who had researched products endlessly when she was pregnant with her daughter) was kind enough to come with me to help me register. Casey pretty much refuses to step foot in Babies R Us. I'm with him, it's pretty scary to me too!!! Anyway, Kristen suffered through 2 or 3 long hours with me at BRU as I struggled with choosing the proper bottle (there have to be about 50 brands, all of which seemed exactly the same to me), the best breast pump and accessories (as if shopping for a breast pump is the slightest bit fun anyway), sheets, washcloths, pack-n-plays, sleep sacks, bath toys, etc. None of the "fun" items. Her expertise was an enormous help and I NEVER would've made it through the experience without her help. Without her, poor Riley would have absolutely nothing practical.

My advice when registering: take a girlfriend or two who already have children and know what you need. Without your friends, you will never make it through Babies R Us. Trust me, it is overwhelming. You cannot do it alone (even equipped with the most recent version of Baby Bargains), and your husband will never forgive you if you make him come along.

On Baby Showers:

We have been blessed with two wonderful baby showers and one luncheon in honor of Riley's arrival.

The first baby shower was thrown by my sister and my mom at my sister's house in Aurora, Illinois. Leave it to my sister to think of every detail. From the party favors (adorable packets of hot cocoa powder and marshmellows that their entire family, including Ed and Cody, assembled together -- how cute is that???), to a precious diaper cake, to a delicious and cute cake with a baby on a leaf made out of frosting, to matching plates, cups, balloons, etc., to amazing homemade food (some quiche made by my mom), to a chocolate fountain (OMG, yum!!!)... I could go on and on. In attendence were mostly my relatives, friends of my mom, a friend of my sister's from high school, and one of my friends from high school. Casey's mom and sister also traveled in for the event (did I mention that it was a horribly stormy day and that many of the attendees had to dodge tornadoes and flooded roads to get to the shower???). Amazingly enough, every single one of our gifts fit into our car/car top carrier and made it through the 11 hour drive back to our house in one piece. Amazing!!!

The second shower was a couples shower back here at home. The shower was thrown by friends of ours, namely Matt & Meredith Masten (they were generous enough to offer up their house for the festivities), Jeff & Kristen Katula, Tim Nerhood & Bree Hendrick, Chris Chamy & Rachel Rose, Jon & Amanda Palmieri and Jason & Kristen Nardone. In attendence were friends of ours, almost everyone from our office and some clients. A very fun and interesting mix of people. We were amazed that some of them stayed for over 5 hours (you should've seen my ankles by the end of the night -- for some reason I decided to wear heels to the event). Many of the attendees had never been to a couples shower before, and I think many of the husbands were actually surprised to find that they were enjoying themselves (I think the Foothills beer and wine helped immensely in this department). This shower was also amazingly well done. The invitations were Red Sox and Cubs themed, and wondered which team Riley would prefer. Kristen K., Rachel and Bree assembled them, and in spite of the fact that a number of bottles of wine were consumed during the assembly process, the invitations were absolutely precious. The decorations and food at the shower also followed the Red Sox v. Cubs theme. There were Red Sox blankets, books, diaper cakes, etc. The same with the Cubs. The really clever part was that the food consisted of baseball themed items (hot dogs, cracker jacks, hot pretzels, etc.) accompanied by Boston Baked Beans, condiments flown down from Chicago, etc. And then there were really cute party favors which consisted of red and blue chocolates with Riley's initials on them and an adorable poem about Riley.

Finally, the wives of the partners at our law firm (Jane Hendrick, Beth Bryant and Bree Hendrick) threw a luncheon at Forsyth County Club in honor of Riley and me. It was a perfect, low-key event attended by 8 of my closest friends in Winston-Salem. Delicious food, beautiful flowers, and LOTS of talk about pregnancy, babies, labor, delivery, raising children, injuries, etc. More importantly, lots of laughs. Oh, and since I was with all of the partners' wives and they insisted that I should pamper myself for a day and not return to work, I also got the afternoon off. After all, it was the partners' wives ordering me, right???

Casey and I were both so incredibly touched by the generousity of our hosts and guests. I cannot even begin to express how much we appreciated absolutely everything. If Riley is surrounded by people like this in life, we will know he is truly one of the lucky ones.

Oh, and did I mention that he got AWESOME stuff?!?!

On Winston's Surgery and My Emotional Response:

Most of you know how special my boy Winston is. If you've ever met him, you just know that there's something exceptional about him. Or maybe it's his sad eyes. Whatever it is, I am clearly totally devoted to him. During my third trimester, we discovered that Winston had torn his ACL and required extensive knee surgery. Now, of course, any surgery is scary, but the news of his surgery almost sent me over the edge. I would like to blame my frail emotional state for my reaction. As the specialist (yes, I said specialist, which you would be right in thinking means an insane amount of money was spent) was describing the surgery to us, and potential problems, it was like someone had turned a faucet on in my eyes. I absolutely could not stop crying. Fortunately, the specialist herself was about 8 and 1/2 months pregnant at the time, so she understood my complete overreaction.

We were able to take Winston home for the night after the determination had been made that he would undergo the surgery. I spent the entire night on the floor with Winston telling him that he absolutely could not die because he was going to make an amazing brother to Riley and I just didn't think it would be fair to Riley if he never got to be friends with Winston. Poor dog was probably totally traumatized by the time we dropped him off for surgery.

The next morning Casey and I dropped him off at the surgeon's office together. Casey had to be at a hearing that morning, so he left me there to fill out the paperwork. Little did either of us know that that left me to read over a form describing when and how they might have to resuscitate him, and they actually required me to make a decision on this (I swear one of the options was whether or not I wanted them to break open his chest bones and rib cage in order to get his heart beating again if it stopped). This was truly more than I could handle. The poor receptionist had to look on while I was filling out this dreadful form. I'm sorry, but no one should have to make decisions like that, and certainly not someone who is almost 8 months pregnant.

Now, I know this was a very trying experience for Casey and me, but as it turns out, Wrigley was probably the most traumatized. Our cleaning lady happened to be cleaning our house the day of Winston's surgery and she said that Wrigley cried almost the entire day. Isn't that heartbreaking? And Wrigley is not usually one to show her emotions. Or care about anything besides her ball, really...

We had to wait an agonizing 8 or 9 hours before we heard from the specialist, but fortunately Winston did come through surgery just fine. We were able to pick him up the next day. When we picked him up, he was totally out of it (the drugs). We expected him to be back to his usual self quickly, but the first night he was home he wimpered all night (this coming from a dog who doesn't even make a sound if you step on him and who didn't seem to be in much pain after his two ear surgeries). It was truly awful. I thought it was just because he had to sleep in his crate instead of being in the bed with us as usual. The next day he was no better. By the time we had hit the 24-hour mark and he hadn't gone to the bathroom or had a bite to eat, Casey and I were both pretty much frantic. I was convinced he was going to die and spent the majority of the day sobbing. To his credit, Casey was very calm and thankfully was able to keep me from completely falling apart. He is so good at that. He was the same way during the miscarriage (for which I am forever grateful), although I know inside he was hurting on both occasions just as much as I was.

As it turns out, Winston was having a bad reaction to the medicine. Once we figured that out and it had time to work itself out of his system, he was pretty much back to his old self, except with 1/4 of his body shaved and no ability to put any sort of pressure on his leg for about a week. It was really sad to see him hobbling around. Slowly but surely, however, he started to regain strenght in his leg (did I mention that we had to do physical therapy 3 times a day and that at 8 months pregnant I spent every single night watching t.v. with him on our hardwood floors so that he wouldn't feel left out -- he was not allowed on furniture during this time -- eventually I was smart enough to remove the cushions from a couch in a different room and spread them all over the floor so we could have a "picnic" and be at least somewhat comfortable). Before long, he was able to sit with me on the front porch while Casey and Wrigley went for the daily walk. Now he has no limp at all, can go on long walks again, and hopefully soon will be able to resume going for the runs that he loves so much. Just in time for me to start running too.

Winston's surgery and recovery were a difficult time for us. A lot of worry. A lot of work. A whole lot of tears on my part. But it was also good preparation for parenthood.

On My Expanding Girth:

I'm sorry, but these women that love being pregnant and gaining a lot of weight are crazy if you ask me. There is nothing fun to me about blowing up like a balloon. In early pregnancy, I was well behind in the weight gain department. That is no longer the case. It looks like I'm right on track to gain about 35 pounds, which is the high end of the recommended weight gain range.

I will admit that at first I thought it was kind of fun to take pictures of my cute little expanding belly. In those days, it was truly just a baby bump. Now everything about me is gigantic. My arms, my legs, my face, my backside, my belly... the list goes on. When people request pictures now, it feels like they are trying to torture me.

But gaining weight itself is nothing compared to the things that accompany it. For example, a full night's sleep is no longer possible, and not just because I have to get up to use the bathroom a time or two. Doctors recommend that you sleep on your side after a certain point. Well, when you have the extra weight on you, your arms tend to fall asleep when you sleep on your side. Normally, you'd just roll over in your sleep. That is no longer possible. Rolling over is at least a five minute process in itself. You can't simply flip over because your stomach impedes your progress. So you have to lift yourself up before you can even start to roll. This requires thought and expertise, and is difficult to master at first. And because thought is involved, you can't do it while asleep. Once you wake up to roll yourself over, there's no chance of falling back to sleep quickly. An evaluation of what's going on while you are awake happens naturally (is the baby moving, am I in pre-term labor, has my water broken, what will I do if I'm in labor, the baby isn't moving does that mean something's wrong...). You are lucky to get back to sleep within an hour. I usually resort to just getting up and satisfying my nesting instinct while Casey is still asleep and cannot give me that look that shows me he knows I'm slowly losing my sanity.

The extra weight has the additional disadvantage of making you feel totally out of shape at all times. There are times when I'm sitting still and get totally out of breath. For someone who is athletic, this is truly an embarrassing feeling. I also get out of breath while walking the dogs (and Winston is a particularly slow walker during the spring because there are so many delicious things for him to smell), bending over to tie my shoes, eating, etc. It is almost more than I can take.

And then there's the issue of swelling. I believe this is a result of all the water I'm retaining. I don't really care what causes it, it is no fun at all. I haven't seen my ankle bones in weeks. I have resorted to wearing nothing but flip flops to work (you should've seen me trying to cram my feet into heels -- it was comical -- even my male bosses recognized that I should not be doing that anymore). And, the saddest thing of all for me, I had to remove my engagement and wedding rings which I treasure more than pretty much any other of my wordly possessions (dogs and people excluded, although I'm not sure they qualify as "possessions" anyway).

On Casey:

I have to admit, Casey has been nothing short of wonderful throughout this pregnancy. I can't remember the last time I made a meal, washed a dish, loaded the dishwasher or lifted something that weighs more than about 5 pounds (at least when he was around -- I can't promise that when no one was looking I haven't lifted furniture in the nursery when it just wasn't quite perfectly positioned -- I blame nesting). Not only that, but he has tolerated my occassional crankiness, my random crying and my almost permanent state of exhaustion. And not only has he tolerated it, but he's actually been understanding about it. I won't say that he hasn't made fun of me or looked at me like I was 100% crazy a time or two, but still, he's been wonderful. I suspect that not everyone is as lucky as I am where this is concerned. I am not sure how those poor women make it through these nine (ten) months. By the way, you probably should not mention to Casey how wonderful I think he is or how lucky I feel to have him in my life. It's pretty awesome when you marry your best friend.

What's in a name...

Naming a child, so it turns out, is pretty complicated. The process of picking a name has really been going on since the idea of possibly trying to get pregnant came onto our radar. Well, for me anyway. When we'd take a long trip in the car, I'd look at highway signs, names of towns, names of streets, etc. and if something struck me as being a good name, I'd send myself an email and save it for my ever-expanding list of names. I also have the luxury of coming across many names in my job. I sometimes conduct title searches which require examining public records over a period of about 60 years or so. You end up seeing some pretty unusual names in this process. I'd even pay attention to names I came across in catalogs, magazines, books, etc. Every name I found that I thought might be acceptable one day would be emailed to myself. I can tell you, I have compiled quite a list over the past year or so. An untraditional approach, perhaps, but it was a start.

Finding the "perfect" name is more complicated, as it turns out, than just finding names that you like. Particularly if you are like us and think that keeping family names going is a neat thing to do. This became particularly complicated because, as some of you know, Casey's name is a shortened version of Kenneth Corman Otis, III. So we have been struggling with whether or not to add a Kenneth Corman Otis, IV to the world. I think this has been a real burden on Casey who admires his father more than I can possibly articulate in this blog. I decided to leave this delicate subject in Casey's hands. He grappled with it for a number of weeks, but after talking to his dad, who was very gracious on the topic, he felt comfortable making the decision not to name the baby KCO IV.

After this decision had been made, out came my list of names. There were some that Casey did not like, there were some that he did, and there were some names that he liked that had not made my list that were added. And that's how we came to find ourselves with a short list of names.

I swear it was unintentional (at least on my part), but it turns out that we have chosen a name that will result in his initials being R.S. I decided to tease my parents and my sister with the initials, so I sent the initials to them. It was pretty funny getting back various guesses from them. My sister was the first to point out that R.S. could stand for Red Sox. This had never occurred to me, but once she pointed that out, I was pretty sure that my darling husband had scammed me into thinking that I was a part of the naming rights, but that he really had planned to get the Boston Red Sox into the name somehow, even if I would not agree to name him Boston. He's smarter than I give him credit for, and trust me, I think he's pretty darn smart already!!!

And so it has been settled that our first son will be named Riley Shailer Otis.

Riley is not a name that has any special family significance. It's simply a name that both Casey and I really liked. Truth be told, although I have heard the name many times and have always liked it, it made my list after I came across it in a Pottery Barn Kids catalog. It is also the first name of the starting quarterback at Wake Forest (Riley Skinner), who coincidentally went to Casey's high school (the Bolles School in Jacksonville, Florida), so we feel like that means he is somehow destined to be not only a great athlete, but a smart guy as well.

Shailer is a family name from Casey's side. Shailer is Casey's late great uncle who he admired enormously (Shailer and his wife Kay are also the people who taught Casey how to golf). I never had the privelege of meeting Shailer, but I understand he was a really neat man. The two stories that I have repeatedly heard about him are that (1) he was on the ski patrol during World War II and (2) he would "open the season" at Drakes Island every summer by playing the bugle.

We have also been told by Shailer's wife that Shailer was given his name because his grandfather (I think) wanted the Shailer name (which originally was a last name) to be carried on. As an incentive, he offered $100 to each of his children that named their child Shailer ($100, at the time, was a very significant amount of money -- I think Casey said he calculated it and it was equivalent to about $20,000 in current money). I believe there were 3 or 4 Shailers in the family...

24 Weeks and Counting

Today we had our 24 week check up. Everything seems to be going fine. Had another ultrasound and the poor baby was entirely folded in half with his knees in his face and his little feet all the way behind his head. We found it very funny, but it cannot be comfortable. Did not make for very good pictures either!!!

In the line of developments, the baby now weighs in at 1 lb. 7 oz. The ultrasound tech says this puts him in the 51st percentile. Hopefully this means we will not have a gigantic baby on our hands come delivery time!!!

I also seem to be growing at an alarming pace (my words, not the doctor's). I have now gained 17.5 lbs. See pictures for what this looks like on my short frame.

On Nesting

I have heard of the "nesting" instinct that seems to afflict many pregnant women, but until today, I sort of thought it was a myth. Well, I can tell you firsthand that this is no myth. It's reality...

It started out innocently enough. I set out to change the sheets on our bed. When I walked into our bedroom with the sheets, I noticed that a drawer on Casey's nightstand was sticking out a little bit. I silently cursed him for not closing it all the way and attempted to close it myself, only to find that it would not close all the way. I determined that something was stuck behind the drawer and tried to reach in with my hand to pull the mystery item out. No luck. So I improvised and grabbed a wire hanger and tried to fish the item out. Success!!!

Or so I thought until I attempted to close the drawer. Still wouldn't shut all the way. Back in went the wire hanger. Out came another item. And on and on it went until Casey came into the room, asked what on earth I was doing, and proceeded to move the nightstand onto the bed for a better look. Ten minutes later, after Casey pulled item after item out from behind the drawer by hand, we (well, Casey, actually) finally figured that the drawer could be removed from the nightstand. The remainer of the "stuck" items were removed with ease, and the drawer now shuts.

Problem was that because Casey moved the nightstand onto the bed to investigate the problem, it was no longer in its usual place on the floor and we discovered how disgusting it was behind and underneath the nightstand. We found a remote control that I'd accused Casey of throwing away 6 months ago, a few of Wrigley's tennis balls, a cup, and a whole lot of fur and dust. So I grabbed the vacuum to take care of the mess. After that area was all cleaned out, I noticed how disgusting it also was behind the bed. I blame the dogs. More vacuuming. Then I decided it must be equally dirty underneath the bed. More vacuuming. And then I realized the blinds behind our bed were also dusty. More vacuuming. This led me to notice that the other blinds in the bedroom were also dusty. More vacuuming. And while I was vacuuming those blinds, I noticed that the window sills were dirty. More vacuuming. And then I noticed how dirty the ceiling fan was. More vacuuming. It got so bad that I can honestly say that I vacuumed all four walls in our bedroom. You heard me right, I vacuumed the walls.

This whole process took about four hours. I was exhausted. And guess what?!? The sheets never did get changed...

No wonder our husbands think we're crazy.

Movin' and a Shakin'

Two significant developments today: (1) Casey was able to feel the baby kicking for the first time, helping him, I think, feel a little more connected to the little guy. Up until now, he had only heard of the alleged kicking. It is a whole different thing indeed to be able to feel it. (2) I was able to see the baby kicking. It was both a thrill and a cause for me to feel squeamish, all at once. There is something really creepy about seeing your stomach move and shake when you are lying totally still.

In other developments, we are starting to prepare for the arrival of our little guy. Registries have been started, nursery furniture has been picked out (although not ordered), and we are now the proud owners of a car top carrier. And, of course, my stomach continues to grow. Much to my dismay, I found this week that I am no longer able to wear "normal" (non-maternity) clothes. Time is flying by!!!

Back to the doctor next Wednesday for another check up and our fourth ultrasound. We can't wait to see the little guy!!! I, however, could do without the dreaded weigh-in...

A Stranger's Inquiry

Well, today marks the first day of what must be the noticeable weight gain phase of my pregnancy. This morning, I had a stranger ask me for the first time when I am due. Now, I will be honest, unlike the last time a stranger asked me when I was due (which, I will note, was a week before our wedding when I was about the skinniest I have ever been -- I immediately gave away the dress I was wearing that day), this time around, I felt a small amount of glee. I am happy that people can now tell that I'm pregnant, and not just getting a little clumsy around the waist. On the other hand, I had gotten a small amount of satisfaction in knowing that I was over five months pregnant and people still couldn't really be sure...