Napkins and Egg Nog and Jumping... Oh My!

Maybe this is just a particularly fun age, but I feel like I could write a novel about the funny things Riley does every day.

For example, he is learning how to "jump". So anytime you ask him to "jump", he will crouch down as low as he can possibly go and then stand straight up with flair. Not even a centimeter of air makes it under his feet, but he still claps and smiles like he is the best jumper that has ever lived.

Or yesterday, before we left the house for dinner, Daddy insisted that Riley pick up the toys he'd been playing with (numbered and colored little pieces you put together to make a full bug). After we returned from dinner and were hanging out in the family room, Riley spotted a bug's head under the couch. He picked it up, walked into his bedroom, retrieved the container the bugs were stored in, brought it to Casey to open for him, placed the bug's head in the container, put the lid back on and carried the container back to his room and put it in the exact spot on his bookshelf where it had been. Then he came back into the living room where Casey and I were sitting and started clapping.

Or last night, when Casey and I were drinking egg nog and Riley asked me for a sip of mine (I promise there was no alcohol in it). Thinking he would hate it, I consented. He took a sip, walked away, continued playing with his toys and then came back and said "Pees" (translation: "Please"). So I gave him more. He walked away, played some more, came back for "Mo Pees" and continued this cycle at least 5 times. I think I got about 2 sips of the egg nog.

Then there was dinner at Mario's last night when he decided to make even Emily Post proud. He found a napkin on the table, picked it up, and immediately dabbed at his face (apparently he was tired of having pizza sauce all over it). Every time he had a bite, he would repeat this process (obviously delighted at our response). Finally, his napkin was kind of grossing me out, so I got another from the napkin holder on our table and gave it to him. He immediately dabbed at his face then crumbled the napkin up in a ball and asked for another one. Repeat process after each bite. I think a whole tree sacrified its life for the sake of learning table manners.

Finally, there was yesterday morning just after Riley had woken up. After eating his typical first-thing-in-the-morning banana, he walked into the kitchen, positioned himself under the cabinet where we store the cereal and pointed. Casey picked each box of cereal out of the cabinet one by one, and Riley shook his head "no" for each. When we ran out of cereal boxes, Casey picked up the box of pancake mix. Riley immediately got excited and had a death grip on the box... pretty much until Casey safely returned from the grocery store after buying the eggs necessary to make the pancakes. Seriously, how many kids are lucky enough to have a daddy like that?

Time Flies!

I am not sure how so much time can pass so quickly. I guess that is life with an 18-month-old little boy. Yes, I said 18 months...

Here it is the first week of December. Christmas is only a few weeks away. I wish I could say that I have it all together - that the Christmas cards are done and sent, that the presents have all been purchased, that the decorations are up and that we are at home each night quietly enjoying the holiday season. But it is not to be.

Fall comes upon us so quickly. It seems like the pool just closed and we just returned from our week in Maine. Halloween crept in and we spent the weeks leading up to it getting excited for our trip to Florida and Riley's first "real" Halloween. The actual holiday weekend flew by between enjoying time with Casey's parents and spending quality time at the pool. We came back only to find ourselves counting the seconds until we left for Thanksgiving in Harbour Island, Bahamas. Thrown in there, we had a health scare with Winston that ended with a trip to the emergency room and much worrying and tears as we thought we were taking him there to put him to sleep, only to find that there was nothing seemingly wrong with him (except for a sensitive stomach and arthritis from his knee surgeries). Winston recovered in time for Wrigley to have a health scare of her own. Not as dramatic, but still, she didn't eat for days and didn't even want to play ball much, both bad signs for her. They both recovered in time for our Thanksgiving travels and spent time "recovering" at the home of their favorite friends. Harbour Island was as amazing as we'd imagined it to be, and the week was over before it even began. We were sad to return home, only to realize that it meant we would be in Chicago celebrating Christmas in the City and then with my family soon enough to make our return from our time with Casey's family tolerable. And then we return from Chicago only to turn around and head back to Florida a few days later to spend New Year's with Casey's parents.

Phew!!! No wonder why time flies. But all for good reason, and all with the many wonderful and amazing opportunities that we have been given. Thankful? Absolutely. Exhausted? Certainly. Would I change a thing (other than getting to spend more time with those people (and animals) that I care about so deeply)? Definitely not.

But still, I find myself wishing that I could turn back time.

So much to be thankful for...

We just returned from one of the best vacation destinations I have ever been to -- Harbour Island in the Bahamas. Unlike my vision of the Bahamas (cheesy tourist traps, parasailing and nightclubs), Harbour Island was anything but cheesy. It was quaint, the people were delightful, the pace of life was slow (the primary mode of transportation is the golf cart!!!), the beach was the most beautiful I have ever been to, and life was just plain good. I got to spend a whole lot of quality time with my two favorite people on this planet - Casey and Riley. It is rare for all 3 of us to get to spend so much time together, and it was by far the highlight of my year. Riley was healthy (thankfully he recovered from the horrible cold he'd had the week we left for our trip) and was so much fun. He loved playing with his cousins and being read to by his grandparents. He seemed so much older - running after the "big kids", dancing on the tile floor before dinner, wanting to touch and look at everything, insisting on "driving" the golf cart, becoming braver and braver each day as he went farther and farther into the ocean on his own, sitting through meal after meal without causing disturbances at restaurants, and charming everyone he met. All signs that he is growing up. It is bittersweet. I love his new-found independence, but I also miss the days where he needed us constantly.

The highlight of my trip is small. Didn't cost a dime, but is a memory that will forever be etched in my mind... my first kiss from my son. He has been blowing kisses at us for months, but this time when I asked him for a kiss, he kissed me on the lips. And it wasn't a mistake -- he has repeated it often since.

This small gesture meant more to me than almost anything I have experienced in my life. You see, for the past month or two, Riley has preferred Casey. To the point of crying when he had to come to me instead of hanging out with Casey. In his defense, I have been so busy this fall with coaching Girls on the Run, Junior League, serving on two committees at the Club, volunteering at Riley's school, and playing in a tennis league that frankly, I haven't been home nearly as much as I'd like. Kids pick up on this. Not to mention that Casey IS more fun. But still, it really hurt. There is nothing like coming home at 7 pm after a really long day and wanting nothing more than a smile and a few precious moments with your child and getting tears instead. Just awful, but I guess it's something that most working mothers who feel like they still have to "do everything for everyone and do it to their best ability" experience.

So these are the events that led up to our trip to Harbour Island. After a few days (maybe even just one), Riley would reach for my hand if he wanted help or if he was scared. And then he would reach for Casey's. Or sometimes in the opposite order. But either way, he wanted both of us. And to have me be the parent to get the first "real" kiss was the highlight not only of the trip, but of the entire fall.

Pictures of our time in Harbour Island will follow in a separate post. One of these days... when I get some time...

Table Manners

When I dropped off Riley at school this morning, I was told (and not for the first time) that Riley has "impeccable table manners". Funny considering he was put in a time out last night for throwing food on the floor (mean Daddy). Regardless, apparently he is very particular about keeping himself and his area clean while eating. I guess I can believe this -- after all, he is the same kid who does not like to have his hands dirty and who will shake them off or give them to you to brush off when he gets sand or dirt or some other offensive substance on them.

The episode leading up to this conversation with his teachers? They had left a bowl of Cheerios at the table for him to eat when he arrived. When he pulled out his chair to sit down, there was a stray Cheerio on the chair (no doubt left behind by the previous occupant of the chair). Riley saw it, picked it up, and instead of putting it in his mouth (which is what I was anticipating), he promptly walked over to the garbage can and deposited the Cheerio inside. He came back to his chair, sat down, and started eating his breakfast. All without blinking an eye.

Language Development

It is crazy, but all of a sudden, Riley's language development is taking off. Perhaps this was prompted by his teacher's proclamation that he "never talks at school". I think he took offense. Either way, here is the extent of his language skills on his 16-month birthday...

Words he says and seems to understand the meaning of every time:
- more (almost always accompanied by the sign for more)
- car (which sounds much more like "cah" - Boston accent???)
- door (although almost each time he says it, he actually says "door door door")
- pool (which represent any body of water, including pools, oceans, bathtubs, and the dirty tub of water that everyone washes the clay off of their shoes in after playing tennis)
- bird (pronounced "bir" while pointing at sky)
- turtle ("tur-to"; incidentally, his turtle is a wooden turtle that my grandfather on my dad's side contributed to the family Christmas grab bag one year and that I begged my dad to get for me; he loves to feed his turtle, give it drinks from his sippy cut, and pet it)
- Dada (not fair)
- flag (pronounced "dah", but I am certain this means flag because he screams it each and every time we pass a flag and points at the flag)
- hi (loves to say hi to everyone right now)
- shoe (pronounced "sh")
- book ("boo"; loves to pick up his books, say "boo", and then lead you over to the chair in his nursery where he likes to sit on your lap while you "read" the book; I use "read" loosely because most of the time you can only make it through 3 or 4 pages before he starts flipping to the end... and then the beginning... and then the end...)
- ball ("ba"; loves to throw (overhand, which apparently is impressive for his age) to Wrigley; will also crawl into extremely small spaces - under the stools in our kitchen, for example - to try to retrieve balls and will then cry when he can't get back out)
- thank you (this is one of my favorites; he actually uses it in context; he also likes to say it when he thinks you need to thank him - for example, when he finds a big tumbleweed of fur on the floor in our house and gives it to you)
- uh oh (used any time something hits the floor - mostly when he intentionally throws whatever the item is)
- bye (accompanied by a wave or kisses)

Words he can say if prompted:
- Mama (it is killing me that this is not on the first list!!!)
- up

Words he clearly understands but does not say:
- spin (when you say it, he will start grinning and then twirl in circles)
- dance (will start bopping up and down and marching)
- shake it (depending on the context, he will either shake whatever he's holding or dance)
- brush your teeth (no matter where you are in the house, and no matter if it's the right time of day or not, he will stop what he's doing, walk to the bathroom and climb up on his step stool)
- your chair (he will go sit in his green "Riley" chair)
- banana (the kid is like a monkey and will truly put almost the entire banana in his mouth at one time and eat the whole thing)
- kisses (will blow you a kiss - this is one of my favorite things!!!)
- put paci to bed (will pick his pacifier up off the floor and put it in his crib)

First Day of Second Year at "School"

Today marks the first day of Riley's second year at school. I still vividly remember dropping him off for the first day of school last year and bawling my eyes out. To the point that it was actually embarrassing (thank goodness Riley was too young to be embarrassed). I have to admit, last night I didn't sleep well. All I could think about was his "trial" days in his new classroom and how his current teachers reported that he cried and cried and cried when they left him with the new teachers. Fearing the worst, I expected the new teachers to be monsters. As it turns out, they are both really sweet and fairly quiet ladies (wow, I hope they can handle my little ball of non-stop energy). Still, all I could think about as I tried to fall asleep was "what if he doesn't like them", "what if he misses Ms. Tamilia and Ms. Niga", "what if they let him get off of his routine", "what if he is scared", "what if he misses his little friends that have moved to a different classroom", and on and on and on.

Sweet little Riley, it was like he could sense my apprehension this morning as we were getting ready for school. He was especially happy and goofy. He drank all his milk (which he rarely does in the mornings anymore). When we got in the car, he kept saying "pool" over and over and over (he learned this word over the weekend - most likely as a result of me being able to take two Fridays in a row off of work and spending most of that time with him at the pool) - I was so proud. Best of all, though, was when I turned around to look at him in the back seat. He was blowing me kisses as if to say, "I love you, Mommy. This is no big deal, so quit be neurotic." Incidentally, he had never blown kisses before the drive this morning.

Dropping him off in his new classroom was no big deal. He clung to my legs and cried for a few seconds when one of his new teachers came to get him, but recovered quite quickly after she put him at the table to eat his breakfast. The official report from his teachers: not one tear after that for the rest of the day. The official report from Mommy: a few tears were shed on the drive to work after leaving him in his new classroom.

So far, in the official tally of coping with the first day of school, the score is Riley 2, Mommy 0. I wonder if I will have perfected this by the first day of kindergarten?

Recollections

It is a lazy summer Sunday, and I just got done making homemade lasagna. For the record, I do not normally take the time to cook such a meal, but it is Riley's favorite, so I took advantage of having some extra time to make his week a good one (even with him eating two adult-sized servings each day, the lasagna should last us through Thursday).

As I sit here, Riley is napping, Casey is watching the PGA Championship and I am drinking a glass of wine while the lasagna bakes. Not two hours away, a friend of a friend is sitting in the hospital watching her son, who is about the same age as Riley, take his last breaths. He is dying of cancer. I don't know this friend of a friend, nor do I know her son, and in fact the first I've heard about his sad illness was today while I was standing in the check-out line at the grocery store, keeping tabs on what's going on in the lives of my friends via Facebook status posts. This, coupled with the discovery that a new acquaintance accidentally ran over and killed his 20 month old son a few years ago in his driveway, just makes tragedy and unfair circumstances all the more personal. It truly can happen to anyone, including us.

So now I have spent the better part of an hour trying to keep myself from crying over the fact that I was grumpier at Riley earlier this morning for having a meltdown at the pool because I wouldn't let him jump off the diving board (incidentally, after much deliberation, we celebrated as he took his very first plunge from a diving board into his daddy's arms at 14 months of age). Of course, life is not about guilt and we can't spend every minute of every day being sad about things, but this was a good reminder to slow down sometimes and embrace the small and seemingly insignificant things in life.

So, in celebration of Riley's first year, and in honor of all of the little people who may never get lucky enough to make it to their first or second or... birthday, I figured now is as good a time as any to recount some of my recollections from our first year with Riley.

My very favorite times when he was a baby were when Winston, Wrigley and I sat on the front porch waiting for Casey to come home from work for lunch. Riley would've been curled up sleeping on my chest for hours by this time, as I sat in the rocking chair and rocked while the four (well, really three) of us watched the world go by. Such calmness for all of us, the dogs particularly liking some time without a crying baby.

Our trip to Maine when he was seven weeks old is also a favorite memory. We were there for two weeks, although Casey wasn't there for the first. This is the time during which I realized that I was capable of being a good mother all on my own. Having Casey around is certainly more enjoyable for all of us, but that week alone with just Riley, Winston and Wrigley was an amazing experience, one for which I am extremely grateful. During the afternoon, while Winston and Wrigley were napping off their morning walk and swim, Riley and I would head down to the beach. He'd sit in his car seat and nap on the sand for hours while I read books that I thought I'd never have time to read again until he went away to college. A few of the days were chilly, and one of my favorite days on the beach I had to bundle Riley up in a sweater and pants to keep him warm enough. This was the day he figured out how to suck his thumb, and although I took a hundred photos of the occasion, the picture of him in his light blue hooded cable knit sweater sucking his thumb in his car seat on the beach with the ocean in the background is forever etched in my memory.

I remember dropping him off for his first day of "school" and thinking my heart would break. He was brave though, and instantly thought having other people around was great fun. Casey and I, on the other hand, had a hard time adjusting and found ourselves visiting him at school every day for over a week until we realized that Riley was better off if we didn't cramp his style (apparently even at 3 months he figured out that we are embarrassing).

He has always been a social, happy-go-lucky guy. He is constantly smiling, and he smiles in a way that lights up his whole face, like whatever or whomever he is smiling at is the most delightful thing he has ever seen. He already has a wry half smile that can charm pretty much anyone, but is especially adorable to the ladies. I am afraid to say that he already knows (and loves) all of the female lifeguards at the pool, and has never met a babysitter that he didn't immediately take to (good taste - they have all been uber smart Wake Forest girls).

I remember watching him figure out how to roll over, then sit, then crawl, then stand and now walk. He is a very contemplative little guy, and you can see him really thinking about what he's trying to master. For the most part, until he really felt comfortable with his ability to complete the task in an above-average way, he just didn't have any particular desire to do it. But now, in about two weeks time, he has gone from holding onto the back of his car to get around to taking his first unassisted steps to running to crawling up furniture to jumping on the bed to doing pull ups on the back of his high chair. When he is awake, he truly is constantly in motion. I couldn't love him more for that, although sometimes I think I should've become a mommy in my 20s because WOW is this exhausting sometimes!!!

I will be eternally grateful that Riley has always been a wonderful sleeper. I would like to think this is the one gift that I was able to give him in his early years. He was probably inclined to enjoy sleeping anyway, but we sure worked hard on learning how to sleep and getting on a schedule in those first seven weeks. It was great having a baby that would sleep through the night by the time I went back to work after maternity leave. Not sure I would've survived otherwise. His love of sleep is even more critical now that he is non-stop motion. When 7:30 p.m. rolls around, you can count on him being fully ready for bed, which is wonderful in that it gives Casey and I (and the dogs) a little time to relax and spend some quality time together. Thankfully, this is right around the time that the Red Sox play, and most nights we can be found on the front or back borch listening to the game on the radio (we are so old school, but it is an XM radio or a broadcast on the iTouch, so maybe that makes us somewhat less archaic???) and drinking a few beers.

The new delight is watching Riley experience the world. His favorite thing to do (besides running around) is to put at things and say "dah". We have figured out that "dah" typically means "flag" or "fan", but things being his favorites to look at. He has begun saying "tur to", which we have translated to "turtle" and "thank you". He says "ba", which I think means "ball" since he frantically looks around for Wrigley when he says it. There is "da da", which means both "Dad" and "Mom" and also that he wants to hand something to you (usually clumps of dog fur from the floor). "Uh oh" means either he has dropped something or is getting ready to chuck something as hard as he can. All these words just make me realize that he is starting to understand the things around him. He has always loved being outside (perhaps it is the constant walks we took him on when he was a baby - they could get him to stop crying in about 2 seconds flat - even in the freezing cold temperatures we had the first winter of his life). Even now, although he loves to be on the move, he will still sit in his stroller for at least an hour as we take our weekend walks to Starbucks and around Miller Park. Today all five of us went on a "hike" through Reynolda Gardens. Our neighbors gave us a Kelty backpack baby carrier when Riley was young and this was our first attempt to use it. With Riley strapped to my pack, we trudged around the woods looking at trees and sticks and streams and rain drops (our adventures always seem to include heavy downpours) and the dogs running after squirrels. He couldn't get enough of it and just looked around and around.

He is not perfect, obviously, and is already prone to having mini-tantrums when he does not get his way (what are we going to do during the terrible 2s???). And although frustrating at times, even the tantrums are important accomplishments because they mean he is becoming more and more independent and starting to discover the things he likes and does not like.

Every day is a new adventure, and with every passing day I swear he is at my favorite age. Watching him grow from a baby to a toddler is more amazing than I ever thought possible. And yet still, some of my very favorite times even now are when he wakes up in the middle of the night crying and won't stop until you pick him up out of his crib, let him sleep in your arms for a few minutes and then put him back in his bed to peacefully sleep the rest of the night away. These night-time wakings don't happen often and I have no doubt that he doesn't remember a second of this, and probably doesn't even know he does it, but it is good to know that even with all of his new found independence, every once in awhile there is nothing that he needs more than the loving arms of his mommy or daddy.

It has been a good year, and I am thankful for every second of it.