Back to School

Hard to believe that this is the start of Riley's 4th year at "school". The past three years I have been anxious the night before, wondering how he would like his teachers, if he would be scared, if he would miss his friends that aren't in his new class... With the recent addition of Chase to our lives, the exhaustion level at night is high, and except for getting the paperwork ready and making sure we had all of the required supplies, I really didn't have much time to worry about the new school year. Casey's parents were visiting for the weekend, and were still here this morning (thank goodness), so I was preoccupied as Riley got ready for school and out the door. Chase was crying in the backseat on the drive to school, and all I was thinking about on the drive was how his crying felt like nails on a chalkboard. By the time I even got to think about this being the start of a new year, we were already walking up to the entrance to his school and I figured it was too late then for any sort of emotional reaction. I had been spared. Each year during the first week of school, it seems like the first day has gotten progressively harder for Riley. Last year he clung to my leg, sobbed and begged me not to leave. It was horrible and made me feel like the worst mommy ever. I almost scooped him up and walked out the door, and might have had I not had a job that I needed to go to. His teachers had to pry him out of my arms and distract him as I walked out the door. I was expecting a similar if not worse reaction this year. Instead, with the exception of saying he didn't want to go upstairs (where the "big kid" classes, which sadly includes his, are located), Riley didn't bat an eye. When we arrived at his new classroom, we found a note on the door stating that the class was out on the playground. As we trudged back down the stairs we had just gone up, I was thinking enough time had passed since we'd entered the building to allow him to fully realize that we weren't going to be greeted for the day by Mrs. Sherrill and Mrs. Vanessa who we had all loved dearly and who had taken such great care of my little guy for the past year. Not so. When I opened the door to the playground, he didn't even hesitate. He didn't look back, not even when I said good-bye. So much for needing his mommy. In case I needed proof, here it was right in front of me -- my little guy has turned into a big boy. And so I left, traumatized not because he was so sad to see me leave, but because he wasn't sad at all. I held it together until I got to my car and then had a good cry... right until Chase started crying because the car wasn't in motion. And then it was time to pick up the pieces and move on with my day, now grateful that the baby was crying in the backseat because he needed his mommy. Official tally: School - 4, Riley - 2, Mommy - 0.