Happy Birthday Baby Boy!!!

Dear Chase,

How are you a year old already?!? I still remember like it was yesterday holding you in my arms for the first time in the operating room and bawling my eyes out because you were alive and healthy (and rowdy!!). For nine months, the first thing I thought of when I woke up and the last thing I agonized over before falling asleep was whether or not you would survive. I worried about you so much and then just like that, you were here changing our lives for the better.

You weren't awake much at first and I sure did love you for that. You gave me the time I needed to recover... and then some! Once you woke up, you were a wild man right from the start. You were quite the busy-body, and I couldn't even feed you in the same room as your dad and your brother and the dogs because you were way more focused on what they were doing than you were on eating.

My maternity leave came and went in such a blur. The highlight of my leave was our time in Maine. You loved the beach even as a little guy, and it was apparent right away that you were going to turn into a water baby. You loved the fresh air, the sound of the waves and caught on quite quickly that Maine is a place where stress goes away and life slows down to the pace it should be every day.

By the time you started school, your severe reflux issues had reared their ugly head and I fretted about you, your weight and your happiness on a daily basis. Luckily, you were in the care of two ladies who loved you so much and did everything in your power to make you happy and comfortable for as long as it took for your body to outgrow the discomfort.

I felt like a thousand pound boulder had been lifted off my chest as soon as a combination of eating table food, cutting some teeth and learning to crawl happened what seemed like simultaneously. You started to smile more and laugh (a lot). It took so many months to hear the sweet sound of your giggle that I wondered if you would ever experience the feeling of having such joy that you just could no longer contain it. I'm not sure if it was just that you were finally feeling better or if you were just so frustrated about not being able to do the things you wanted, but either way, the change in you made my world whole again.

And now, well now the sky seems to be the limit for you. You smile, you laugh, you clearly like to make others happy, you crawl, you are getting the hang of walking, you splash around in water like there's nothing finer in the world, your face lights up in delight when I enter the room, you communicate by pointing at things you find interesting, you are making friends, you will hug my legs tight for a quick snuggle when you are particularly proud of something you've done, you crawl into my lap and give me a hug in the morning, you will do just about anything to try to keep up with your brother.

I am so proud of you for being the sweet boy you've become and I am so beyond happy for you that you endured whatever it was that you went through and came out of it as such a happy, mischievous, fun-loving little guy. Watching you dance, smile and toddle around give me more joy than I ever thought possible.

Keep moving to the beat of your own drum.

With all my love,
Mom